My baby peed on his face. I am no good at building up to the punch line of a story so there it is up front.
I was changing his diaper and had his little tushy hoisted up in the air. When I lowered him back down I saw that his romper was soaked. I followed the wet trail up to his face where he blinked back at me, looking rather pleased, with pee all over his face. Fantastic.
I usually have him covered with a cloth wipe so if he pees it just soaks the cloth, but sometimes his vigorous kicking displaces the pee shield. If he ever goes while uncovered it makes me jump. The thing about it is that it makes no noise; he is a stealth pee-er. I guess I am used to the sound of pee in a toilet, not being shot in an arch through the air. The latter is soundless and much messier.