Boys are gross.

My baby peed on his face. I am no good at building up to the punch line of a story so there it is up front.

I was changing his diaper and had his little tushy hoisted up in the air. When I lowered him back down I saw that his romper was soaked. I followed the wet trail up to his face where he blinked back at me, looking rather pleased, with pee all over his face. Fantastic.

I usually have him covered with a cloth wipe so if he pees it just soaks the cloth, but sometimes his vigorous kicking displaces the pee shield. If he ever goes while uncovered it makes me jump. The thing about it is that it makes no noise; he is a stealth pee-er. I guess I am used to the sound of pee in a toilet, not being shot in an arch through the air. The latter is soundless and much messier.

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3 thoughts on “Boys are gross.

  1. In the early days of Schaefer, long before solid poos were part of the picture, Daddy and I were doing a tag-team diaper change. As I began to slide the clean diaper under her, he lifted her feet to raise her little bootie in the air… just into the air enough that when she let loose with a squirty poo, it shot clear out her bedroom door and into the hall, hitting the wall, floor, and door along the way. Turns out little girls aren’t particularly dainty either.

  2. In the early days of Schaefer, long before solid poos were part of the picture, Daddy and I were doing a tag-team diaper change on her changing table. As I began to slide the clean diaper under her, he lifted her feet to raise her little bootie in the air… just into the air enough that when she let loose with a squirty poo, it shot clear out her bedroom door and into the hall, hitting the wall, floor, and door along the way. Turns out little girls aren’t particularly dainty either.

  3. Oh my god! That is so funny! Not sure how you didn’t laugh at that but based on how cute he is I can see why you didn’t get mad:). Oh the joys of motherhood! (still laughing btw) xoxo

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