We decided early on that we didn’t need to get the extra 3D ultrasound. We would have the routine ultrasound and then wait until game day to get the next look at our kid. In a routine, healthy pregnancy there isn’t any need for another ultrasound and the 3D version is expensive enough that we didn’t think it was a good use of our baby funds. I also thought the images were a bit too creepy and alien-like to be something I wanted to keep in his baby book even if it was going to be images of my creepy little baby.
But I am starting to wish we got to have another look at this little guy before his official arrival. Yesterday I think he shifted in his sleep and ended up sticking an elbow or leg out of its regular position so that it was visible under my skin. I couldn’t see the shape of the limb, but I massaged at it and he slowly tucked it back into place. I don’t think he even woke up, the little booger.
Now I can’t stop trying to figure out how he is positioned. It seemed like he was up at the top yesterday, but he was also using my bladder as a bouncy house as I jogged this morning. I have had to stretch out a lot more while sitting today because my middle feels cramped so I think he is stretched out vertically, but which end is up? Is he tap dancing on my bladder or is he snuggling his big, ole baby head down against it? Can he stretch his legs out or are they always tucked in like we saw on the ultrasound at 18 1/2 weeks?
It is hard for me to imagine that he is now filling up the majority of his space. The first time we went to hear his heartbeat he was so tiny that he could move quickly from one side to the other and evade the doctor and her Doppler monitor. Now he has no place to hide. I can push my hand in just a little and feel some part of him.
I have a whole lifetime of this don’t I? Him just getting bigger and bigger and me remembering how tiny he used to be. Do you stop feeling nostalgic when your son has finally stopped growing?? I wonder which version of her eldest son my grandma sees when she looks at my dad. Does she see the man with the kind eyes and the gray in his beard who has been taller than her for decades? Does she see him with his miniature flannel jacket and cap giggling from the top of a tractor at his grandparents farm or as the dark-haired 10-year-old with his Buddy Holly glasses?
I don’t plan on changing my mind about choosing to get another ultrasound, and I am grateful that the pregnancy is going smoothly enough that we only need to have the one. But I understand the parents who are eager to start filling the pages of their mental photo album with snapshots of their children from the beginning; when they are so small they fit inside of you.